During your courtship..:)
June 23rd, 2007 | by Ridhima Suri |Another post on the ‘H4 visa’ theme. This post might not be applicable to all, but I am sure it is worth checking out for some!
The scenario –
The girl/boy is in India. His would –be partner is in the U.S. (hypothetically, in San Francisco). They got engaged whilst he was in India on a short trip for ‘dekho ladki-patao ladki-shaadi fix karo jaldi!!’. And then the courtship period begins. Overseas courtship has its own share of joys and pains.
First let us count the joys.
Starting a new chapter in life, all is very pink with romance. Each moment brings out the joy of anticipation to talk (or in the ‘web’ world, chat!!). Running on an international calling card, the conversations last 30 minutes, then 45 minutes, then an hour and a half. It just does not stop!
Then the small pains
As soon as one realizes that the only way to communicate is by phone or maybe an occasional email, the frustration sets in. The major issue in an India-U.S. courtship period (or other similar scenarios) is the time zone. The day-night gap gets really frustrating for the ‘happily-to- be- married’ couple. It is not only difficult to cope up with the time difference, but sometimes becomes an issue of endless arguments. For example, when it is time to say good night, you would be saying good morning to your partner in the other part of the world!! It is just impossible to follow the natural clock.. half the time one spends waiting for the other person to wake up, or come back from work while you want to just fall asleep!
A good friend of mine asked me to mention the dark circles she had developed under her eyes, due to endless periods of waiting for her fiancé to come online!! Her comment made me realize how I would get so impatient waiting for my fiancé’ to call or when he would have to wait till past midnight for me to return from work.
Some words of advice … 
If you are in India
-Have a watch set as per the time in U.S. showing AM/PM. I did not do it. I just used to calculate the time 12-13 hours ahead of my current time, but it helps!
-During the courtship period, it is time to know each other well. Try not to breathe down your fiance’s neck. Deal with the issue that when it is your day, he is asleep and vice-versa. It is ok if he is going out for a late night movie, if you are at work or just getting up in the morning.
Remember, in this era networked with ultra-advanced technologies, the world is becoming smaller. Technology is the harbinger to easy communication. When most of the developed countries are outsourcing their operations, people do deal with the day-night difference. Also, with the mushrooming of online-marriage portals,
what is east, and what is west??
Click and click, and find the best!!
So, enjoy your courtship and blossom! You may want to use some under-eye cream, if it means a lot to you, but trust me, in the long run, all will be well and fall in the right place!!
Ignore the pains and enjoy the joys!
Tags: H4, Immigration, Moving to US, Visa
