Digvijay and Ridhima’s blog

Bridal Confusions on an H4 Visa: My Take

May 8th, 2007 | by Ridhima Suri |

Here is a list of some of the most common questions and my take on them. The post is a mix of scribbling in a personal diary and an advisory writing mode ..:D

The Question

I am getting married and then flying directly to the United States on an H-4 visa. What should my suitcase ideally contain ?

• Well, a lot depends on the person in question. My personal suggestion is that you ask your husband to carry less of his stuff when coming to India, so that it gives you more suitcase space (hehe). 2 suitcases of 32 kgs each are allowed per person on flights to the US. (You must check the latest information on allowed baggage).

• For a newly wed girl the challenge is to take all that she wants to take within all that she can take! Her own marriage packing (whilst at her mother’s place) is usually very elaborate thanks to the Indian customs. It pains her no end to see things her parents bought for her left behind as she cannot carry everything along. Major things to be covered generally include clothes, jewelry, shoes, bags and other personal effects. Assuming that you just got married and are temporarily relocating to another country, here is a list of what to carry.

• Apparel Clothes that you feel most comfortable in should be carried in abundance. There should be a good balance between Casuals and Formal wear, while considering that you are newly married. You might not want to sport a nomadic look!! You must look fresh and glowing like a newly married girl and your attire should reflect this. If you are considering living in an Indian community, carry your best Indian clothes for special occasions like Diwali, Holi, Onam, Pongal, Karvachauth, Navratras, etc. Ideally, your wardrobe should have a 75-25 mix of Casual wear and Formal wear. The glitter and glamour should last for the first three to four months!!

Girls are very possessive and sentimental about what their mothers give them at the time of marriage. Make sure that under no circumstance leave behind items that you want to carry and of which others are discouraging! Bring along your Bridal dress, you might get a chance to wear it and enjoy the thousands of rupees invested in the dress by your parents!

• Jewellery. One tricky issue. If both you and your spouse are new to the US, it is better to leave behind precious jewelry back at home. However, this is the time when a newly-wed girl wants to bask in the glory of being married – so carry whatever you think will be wearable in your day to day life but also carry that which will make you eligible for the label “The bride”.

• If possible, carry your own small quota of personal care items (things that you really care about and that live in your vanity bag or the inside pocket of your purse!)

Remember, what you leave behind is left behind. This happens for two reasons.

1) Travel to India (home country) is very expensive and less frequent.

2) Gradually, you will add new things (in your wardrobe and at home) and when, after a long gap, you go back you will no longer want things you bought at the time of your marriage.

Other Stuff I see a lot of people carrying loads of Utensils, peppers, and edibles. Personally, I understand the feeling of facing the unknown and wanting to have your own back-up. However, I think this feeling comes due to two reasons.

Either you do not know that there are Indian Stores in every state of the United States or you know that there are Indian Stores but there is an initial temptation to save some money.

I too came to the U.S. with no knowledge. I did not know what I was diving into. But I wasn’t tense about how things will be. Of course, I did want to bring along some basic stuff! Eventually, I ended up not bringing peppers, but I could not helping carrying along a pan and an old cooker. I also brought my own rolling pin-board (which is an epitome of marital bliss in a new home). I would suggest that you apply your personal discretion based on your needs. Your circumstances may not match mine so have plenty of flexibility!! If you cannot plan ahead of time, it is best to listen to your elders or friends who you can trust. Remember not to bring eatables, perfumes or other liquids in your baggage. The Airport officials will ask you to throw away all such prized things immediately! One of my dear friend was very embarrased when they found her bag full of pickles and papad!

In the end, I trusted my husband’s knowledge and found comfort in his confidence. Our mothers were great guides and our best friends!! I ended up not bringing all of the stuff that was bought for me with a lot of care and effort, since I was destined to settle outside India. Yet, I am determined to build my resources, next time I travel home… greedy me!!!!!!!!!!

The Last note

Do not worry. You will make a lot of friends when you get here. If you come to Caifornia, especially Silicon Valley, chances are that you will feel you are walking down your own lane! There are a lot of Indians and other Asians!!! Keep your mind open. You are not heading for an exam, just a new page in your life. Turn it over, and live every moment king size!! All Brides are confused and you are no exception….Use up all the baggage space and Bon Voyage!

• During your courtship..:)
• The Immigration Bill
• The H-4 Visa : Paperwork and facing the Interview.
• Are you coming on the H-4 visa ?
• Tips to travel to USA
• Some more on an H4 visa
• H4 visa: Questions asked at the port of entry

Tags: H4, Immigration, Moving to US, Visa